Bottom: The Scripts

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British Sitcom Guide - Bottom". Archived from the original on 3 February 2014 . Retrieved 23 December 2008.

a b c d Reynolds, Gillian. "Hitting bottom". The Daily Telegraph. p.16 . Retrieved 23 September 2022– via Newspapers.com. But it's in your handwriting! You've sent it to yourself for seven years! This one's from Rod Steiger. Why don't we stop talking about it and sit down nicely and watch Oh, bugger! Oh, come on, Eddie, there must be more to life than telly.Eddie flaps his tongue at the mirror but suddenly stops, having noticed something. He pulls his tongue out further, covers it with shaving foam and shaves it.] Richie: So when you ask me, [impersonating Eddie] "Uh, what's for breakfast?" I would say 'something a little unusual. Eddie: What, like a really crap impression of me? All of a sudden? 10 weeks into the tour? Just 'cos the cameras are on? Richie: What on EARTH are you eating? Eddie: Lard. Richie: You are eating... lard? Eddie: Yeah well I'm hungry, but I'm too drunk to cook. Right, Sardines is a game, right? One of us goes and hides and the others have to look for him, but when they find him, they hide with him and they snog with him if they want to If they're a bird, right? Which we're not so we won't.

Send him down! Electrocute him! Guillotine him! - I'll tidy my room tomorrow! - Where's my handbag? - What do you know about my father? - Nothing. After an incident involving a blow-up doll named Monica and some superglue, Richie has, apparently, lost his penis.] Richie: Ah, Monica. You were the first, and you'll be the last. You took my cherry... right off!We live our lives on a higher plane than you do, buster! Where truth and purity and virginity are the only things we respect!